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insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results--paul harris
its addictive, but its supposed to be, so its okay--rob huber
an actor without a techie is a naked person standing in the dark, trying to emote.
a techie without and actor is a person with a marketable skill.--?
comedy is what happens to other people--fran brookes
die young and leave a good looking corpse--?
speak softly and carry a big stick--teddy roosevelt
If Bush and Cheney lead the world into a new arms race that poisons the planet, the gene pool and the inner solar system, then the vanishing posterity of the species will surely record them as assholes. Big Time--kevin sanders, war and peace
The Mole-Did you bring the mirror? the rope? the buttfor?
Stan-Whats a buttfor?
The Mole-For pooping silly.
-South Park, Bigger longer and uncut
"Whatchyouwant?"
"Nothing," said richard. "i really dont want anything. nothing at all." and then realised how true that was; how dreadful a thing it had become. "Have you ever got everything you ever wanted? And then realized it wasn't what you wanted at all?...I thought I wanted this. I thought I wanted a nice, normal life. I mean, maybe I am crazy. I mean, maybe. But if this is all there is, then I don't want to be sane. You know?"--Neverwhere-Neil Gaiman
one of the things ford prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very, very obvious, as in Its a nice day, or Youre very tall, or oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty foot well, are you alright? At first ford had formed a theory for this strange behavior. if human beings dont keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. after a few months consideration and observation he abondoned this theory for a new one. If they odnt keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.--the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy-Douglas Adams
i will always stand by my word, provided it doesnt move too quickly--me
is fire eating like goin down on a red-head?--rich
yes, you get hurt if you screw up and they both leave a funny taste in your mouth.
"We were looking for you," said richard.
"And now youve found me," croaked the marquis, drily.
"we were expecting to see you at the market."
"Yes. Well. Some people that i was dead. I was forced to keep a low profile."
"Why...why did some people think you were dead?"
The marquis looked at richard with eyes that had seen too much and gone too far. "because they killed me," he said.
--Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
zaphod beeblebrox entered the foyer. he strode up to the insect receptionist.
'okay,' he said, 'where's zarniwoop? get me zarniwoop.'
'excuse me sir?' said the insect icily. it did not care to be addressed in this manner.
'zarniwoop. get him, right? get him now.'
'well sir,' snapped the fragile little creature, 'if you could be a little cool about it....'
'look,' said zaphod, 'im up to here with cool, okay? i am so amazingly cool, you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. i am so hip i have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. now will you move before i blow it?'
'well, if youd let me explain, sir,' said the insect, tapping the most petulant of all the tentacles at its disposal, 'im afraid that isnt possible right now as mr zarniwoop is on an intergalactic cruise.'
hell thought zaphod
'when's he gonna be back?' he said
'back sir? hes in his office'
zaphod paused while he tried to sort this particular though out in his mind. he didnt succeed.
'this cats on an intergalactic cruise...in his office?' he leaned forward and gripped the tapping tentacle.
'listen three eyes,' he said, 'dont you try to outweird me, i get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.'
'well just who do you think you are honey?' flounced the insect, quivering its wings in rage. 'zaphod beeblebrox or something?'
'count the heads,' said zaphod in a low rasp.
the insect blinked at him. it blinked at him again.
'you are zaphod beeblebrox?' it squeaked.
'yeah,' said zaphod, 'but dont shout it out or theyll all want one.'
'the zaphod beeblebrox?'
' no just a zaphod beeblebrox; didnt you hear i come in six packs?'
the insect rattled its tentacles together in agitation.
'but sir,' it squealed, 'i just heard on the sub-ether radio report. it said you were dead....'
'yeah thats right,' said zaphod, 'i just havent stopped moving yet. now. where do i find zarniwoop?'
...
'can i ask you why you want to see mr zarniwoop?'
'yeah,' said zaphod who was unclear on this point himself, 'i told myself i had to.'
'come again sir'
'i just materialised out of thin air in one of your cafes as a result of an argument with the ghost of my great-grandfather. no sooner had i got there than my former self, the one that operated on my brain, popped into my head and said 'go see zarniwoop.' i have never heard of the cat. that is all i know. that and the fact that ive got to find the man who rules the universe.'
he winked
'mr beeblebrox, sir,' said the insect in awed wonder, 'youre so weird you should be in the movies.'
'yeah,' said zaphod patting the thing on a glittering pink wing, 'and you baby should be in real life.'
--douglas adams The Resturant at the End of the Universe
Click to read the Procastinator's Creed.